“When I first met Mridula, I was in a state of complete despair—trapped in a cycle of endless medical issues, anxiety, and emotional turmoil. I felt like a shadow of my former self, carrying the weight of expectations and fears that were not even mine. Through the iRiseAgain program, I experienced a transformation I never thought possible. My IBS disappeared, my anxiety reduced significantly, and for the first time in years, I felt like myself again. I learned to release the need for external approval and embrace who I truly am. Today, I feel healthier, happier, and more in control of my life than ever before. I cannot thank Mridula enough for helping me find my way back to myself.”
— Tina Ohri, 38, Former IT Professional
Some days mimic the makings of accidents but are often exquisite marvels of destinies. I met Tina on our weekly, Sunday Morning Long-Kriya followup at the local center. I am usually not this late, but that day, I was, and 1st stage of kriya was almost done with.
I frantically calmed myself down and took a seat to synchronize my breathings and my energies with others. I had no idea, vision or notion of anyone else in that room. For me, at that moment, the only urgent reality was..”I was late! I must catch up quickly!”
Sometimes we are so unaware of our presence, that we are caught off guard quite often on borders of suspicion by someone’s piqued interest in us. Meeting Tina was like that for me.
Tina Ohri found me! Her approach was timid yet determined, her eyes searching for an anchor in the storm that was her life.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Her voice, fraught with a mixture of hope and desperation, barely masked her physical and emotional exhaustion. I am accustomed to seeing helpless and exhausted people in my line of work, and I can often guess their inner workings by having a glance at them.
The stories each tell are different each time, but the place I find them in their journey is often the same. Often the destined ones find me at the juncture which is monumental in turning their whole life around. Again a wonderful complexity of divine working!
Tina was very eager to talk to me, and somehow I was wary of her initially, because from my long line of work I knew that talking wont help her and she didn’t seem the type who would accept help. Yet, I felt I should help her whichever way she was willing to receive help.
As we sat secluded from the others, Tina began to unravel the litany of her recent years—a narrative punctuated by medical terms, surgeries, and relentless ailments. From battling COVID twice to undergoing multiple polyp removals and grappling with severe IBS, her life seemed like an unending series of health crises.
With each detail, her frustration grew; the words “Will I be okay?” echoed repeatedly, forming a haunting refrain. My attempts to reassure her felt hollow against the depth of her despair. “Don’t worry, it will be okay,” I offered, but the comfort fell flat. Tina was trapped in a cycle of helplessness and fear, where hope seemed just out of reach.
In the quiet corner of my home, I invited Tina for a detailed conversation to delve deeper into the fabric of her life. Initially discussing her relentless health issues, the dialogue naturally shifted towards her personal life as she mentioned her recent desire to conceive, a decision that seemed to trigger an onslaught of medical complications.
“When did you start thinking about having a baby?” I inquired, sensing an underlying tension in her casual mention of the timing.
“It was about three years ago… right when everything started to go downhill with my health,” Tina replied, a look of realization dawning upon her.
Intrigued by the synchronicity of her health issues with her decision to conceive, I probed further about her marriage, a topic that until now seemed untouched by the troubles she recounted. Tina spoke warmly of her husband, praising his kindness and emotional availability, a stark contrast to the stoic men in her own family.
“But how do you feel in your home? Can you see yourself raising a family there?” I asked, steering her to reflect on her integration into her husband’s family.
The pause that followed was telling. “They’re good people, really… but it’s just so different,” she finally confessed, her voice trailing off into silence. The discomfort in her expression spoke volumes.
Encouraged by her openness, I asked about her own family background. Tina’s description painted a picture of a lively, vibrant household—full of social gatherings, laughter, and an open-door policy that made everyone feel welcome. “Though my dad was strict, our home was always filled with life. It was like a constant celebration,” she reminisced with a smile that soon faded.
As she contrasted this with her current family environment, which was marked by formality and reserve, the puzzle pieces began to click into place. “It’s like going from a colorful, bustling market into a quiet, orderly library,” Tina explained, her metaphor capturing the essence of her struggle. The drastic change in familial culture was not just a background discomfort; it had become a central issue impacting her sense of belonging and, ultimately, her physical health.
The realization that her body’s rebellion might be tied to her deep-seated unhappiness and lack of comfort in her marital home was a revelation for both Tina and me. Her body was not just failing her; it was signaling her distress, refusing to carry a new life into a setting where she felt like an outsider.
“As much as I love him, I don’t know if I can bring a child into this environment,” Tina admitted, her voice a mix of defiance and despair. This confession was a turning point, highlighting her internal conflict between her love for her husband and her alienation from his family’s lifestyle.
We explored how this emotional dissonance could be manifesting in her physical symptoms, drawing connections between her mental state and her health issues. Each medical challenge seemed to coincide with moments of heightened stress and anxiety about her future and her fit within the family.
“It’s as if my body is on the same page as my heart, hesitant and unsure about the path ahead,” Tina reflected, her insight growing sharper with each word.
With each revelation she shared, a clearer picture emerged of the intricate web of her emotional and psychological state that underscored her physical ailments.
Listening intently to Tina’s recount of her life’s episodes—the impactful memories and entrenched beliefs that shaped her—I realized that the spectrum of her physical symptoms, from her IBS to her acute social anxiety, were not isolated issues but manifestations of her deeper emotional and psychological makeup. Her efforts, whether conscious or subconscious, to continually prove her worth were not just about fitting into her husband’s family but were entangled with a lifetime of needing to feel validated and accepted.
Tina’s narrative revealed a woman who was battling not just with her in-laws’ cold demeanor but with a profound sense of inadequacy that echoed from her childhood. “I’ve always felt like I needed to earn my place, to take responsibility for everyone else, to do things for others, to earn love and acceptance,” she confessed, her voice barely above a whisper. “And now, at 38, I feel like I’ve failed at everything that matters.”
She elaborated on her self-view as a failure—no child, no job, dependent on her husband for financial support. This self-perception was compounded by a relentless inner dialogue that questioned her worth and her potential as a mother. “Maybe I’m not meant to be a mother… maybe that’s why nothing is working,” she mused, reflecting a resignation that was tinged with deep sorrow.
It became evident that Tina’s struggle was not merely with her physical body or her in-laws; it was a struggle for her identity and self-worth. Each unsuccessful medical treatment, each unfulfilled desire, reinforced her fears and doubts, feeding into a cycle of stress and anxiety that exacerbated her health problems.
She continued on with her story…
Ever since I can remember, the air in my childhood home was thick with expectations. Raised in a vibrant Punjabi family with a military discipline background, life was a series of performances — each act to be executed with precision, each failure a specter haunting the corridors of my memory. My father, a towering figure of discipline, loved us in his own stern way, but I always felt a gap, a chasm of emotional disconnect that no amount of accolades could bridge. It was like “walking on egg-shells” when he was around.
Transitioning from this colorful yet demanding backdrop to the stark contrasts of my in-laws’ home was like stepping into a world devoid of color. Where my family’s home buzzed with laughter, music, and the constant chatter of guests, my in-laws’ house held a somber quiet that stifled me. They were good people, disciplined and orderly, but their austerity felt cold, alienating.
Throughout my life, relationships with men were my unconscious attempts to bridge the emotional void left by my father. Each relationship, while filled with moments of superficial excitement, never quite touched the deeper layers of my yearning heart. Meeting my husband was a breath of fresh air; he was everything I believed I needed — stable, kind, emotionally present. Yet, the joy of our union was overshadowed by the mounting pressures of fitting into a family so starkly different from my own.
Professionally, I thrived in client-facing roles within IT firms, where my bubbly personality and sharp intellect were assets that propelled me forward. But as much as I succeeded in the boardrooms and client meetings, the personal battles behind closed doors drained my spirit. The effort to meld into my husband’s family consumed me. I went overboard trying to please them, cooking lavish meals, organizing every detail to perfection, all in hopes of receiving a nod of approval, a smile of acceptance — which seldom came.
The medical battles began subtly — a nagging IBS here, a relentless hair fall there. But as the years wore on, these whispers turned into screams. Surgeries, treatments, failed IVF attempts… each medical failure was a hammer to my already crumbling self-esteem. “Why me?” I often wondered. “Is this a punishment for failing to be enough?”
Depression and anxiety became my constant companions, whispering doubts and fears that echoed the insecurities of my youth. Social functions became battlefields, where I armored myself in smiles and laughter, hiding the turmoil within. The thought of bringing a child into this vortex of uncertainty terrified me. Every attempt at conception ended in failure, each a stark reminder of my fears — maybe I was truly not meant to be a mother.
Tina was in her zone, as she reminisced “Sitting here, reflecting on the winding paths of my life, I realize how much of myself I’ve lost. The vibrant, lively Tina of my youth is a shadow, a memory that flickers in the dim corners of my heart. The battles I’ve faced — medically, emotionally, socially – are taxing and draining. I barely feel like myself, look like myself”,…. she sobbed, as she shared her 4 year old photos of herself on her mobile. She indeed looked beautiful and glowing.
All she wanted at that point was to be well, to look like herself again, to feel like herself again and another shot at life, where things would be good this time! She was hysterical and beyond consolation. She just wanted the clock to turn back to 4 years ago.
With Tina’s deeply rooted emotional struggles laid bare, the journey towards healing began with a focus on peeling back the layers of self-doubt, fear, and emotional suppression. Our sessions delved into addressing her inner conflicts and shifting the subconscious patterns that had been ruling her life.
One of the most significant breakthroughs came when Tina finally acknowledged the silent battle she had been fighting—the battle of constantly seeking approval and validation. The realization that her approval-seeking tendency had permeated every aspect of her life, from her relationships to her health, allowed her to slowly reclaim her power.
We worked on releasing her emotional dependency on external validation, guiding her to recognize that true acceptance starts from within. By using deep energy healing techniques and emotional release processes, Tina began to reconnect with the parts of herself she had long suppressed.
Through consistent healing sessions, we were able to:
- Reverse Her IBS: Tina’s gut health dramatically improved as she let go of the emotional burdens she had been carrying. The anxiety that fueled her physical ailments gradually dissipated, leading to a complete reversal of her symptoms.
- Reduce Anxiety and Depression: By addressing her fear of not fitting in and her suppressed emotional pain, Tina found relief from the chronic anxiety and depressive episodes that had overshadowed her life.
- Fertility Improvements: Once Tina released the emotional conflict tied to her in-laws’ environment and her childhood beliefs of earning love, her body responded positively. Her menstrual cycles regulated, and she reported feeling more in sync with her body and its natural rhythms.
- Breaking the Approval-Seeking Cycle: Tina developed a newfound confidence in asserting her boundaries and expressing her true desires, no longer feeling the need to walk on eggshells around others.
- Embracing Her True Self: Tina found the courage to embrace the lively, colorful personality she had always possessed, integrating it into her present life without fear of judgment.
With her newfound emotional resilience and physical well-being, Tina began to redefine her life on her own terms. The once-hesitant and anxious woman had evolved into someone who could confidently navigate her relationships and career. She rediscovered her passion for client-facing roles, gradually easing back into the professional world with a renewed sense of self-worth.
In her marriage, she learned to communicate her needs effectively and no longer felt the pressure to mold herself into the expectations of her in-laws. She found joy in creating her own version of home, blending the warmth and vibrancy of her upbringing with the new environment she was in.
Tina’s journey was not just about healing her body; it was about reclaiming her life. She finally felt whole, free from the emotional entanglements that had kept her stuck in a cycle of pain and unworthiness.
Conclusion:
Tina’s story is a testament to the incredible potential of holistic healing when one addresses the root causes of emotional distress. Her transformation showcases how deeply our emotional and psychological state can impact our physical health. Today, Tina stands as an empowered woman, free from the ailments that once defined her, ready to embrace life with renewed vitality and confidence.
